By BRIANNA LUSK, Staff Writer, Imperial Valley Press
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 2:51 PM PST
Printed courtesy of Imperial Valley Press, El Centro, CA


Shy and soft-spoken Enrique has reservations about going to Brawley Union High School in June. The 14-year-old is an eighth-grader at Del Rio Community School in Brawley, where he is nearing the completion of his required term at the alternative education school.

SERGIO ESTRADA PHOTO FROM LEFT: Christian, 13,
Maria, 14, Enrique, 14, and Justin, 14, hug Grandma
Julie on Thursday at Del Rio Community School in Brawley.

To ease his uncertainty, Enrique has Grandma Phylus to turn to for advice.

“I told her I’m kinda scared to go to high school, and she told me I’d have more fun, be able to graduate and have a decent job,” Enrique said.

Revealing no information about what led him to Del Rio, Enrique talked openly about his experience with the Catholic Charities’ foster grandparents program, namely Grandma Phylus, his mentor.

Enrique said he receives feedback from Grandma Phylus about decisions he is contemplating, and her presence at Del Rio has calmed his temper.

“I get to express my feelings,” said Enrique. “I feel calm. I don’t feel angry anymore.”

He added his experience would be different without the grandparent program and said, “I’d just be doing what I think is right, but it’s wrong.”

“There’s always someone who can reach our kids.” — Diego Lopez

Diego Lopez, director of alternative education at the Imperial County Office of Education, never experienced the bond of having a grandparent in his life.

His grandparents died before he was born, and as he grew up, he envied children privileged to have an elder from whom to learn.

“It’s a special relationship,” Lopez said. “I thought it would work when brought into alternative education.”

The understanding and caring provided by the foster grandparents, Catholic Charities senior program director Sharin Yetman said, is what can make the difference in a troubled life.

“They’ve lost their way or made poor choices,” said Yetman. “The grandparents are not telling them to map out their life. They give possibilities with good choices.”

She added the negative behaviors that may have steered a teen off the right path are addressed from an understanding, non-threatening team of grandparents.

“Seniors are the No. 1 resource in the country for wisdom, years of life experience and skills,” Yetman said.

Yetman continued: “After having an experience with an older, caring, nurturing adult, they will — I’m willing to bank on this — never forget it.”

From the federally funded program’s inception in the Valley five years ago, the number of sites serviced by the grandparents program has grown to nine Valleywide. There are 30 grandparents mentoring youths in the Valley on a daily basis at juvenile hall, the Betty Jo McNeece Receiving Home, Migrant HeadStart and alternative education schools.

The foster grandparent Program is funded through the Corporation for National and Community Service, National Senior Service Corps.

The foster grandparent program was awarded a special grant from the Department of Programming for National Significance in September. The allotment of funds spawned the program’s expansion into Del Rio in November.

“We created a new project and jumped into the community,” said Yetman.

Lopez, who said he feels a responsibility to work with children who have had a hard life, witnessed the impact foster grandparents had on the teenagers in juvenile hall and wanted to extend the program into community schools.

“I truly believe the grandparents are helping them through that difficult time of being in custody,” Lopez said of the youths in juvenile hall.

He added being involved in the foster program as minors transition from juvenile hall into community schools can result in a lower rate of recidivism.Potential grandparents complete 60 hours of training, an extensive background check and are selected based on compatibility of personality with the goals of the program. Designed to assist low-income seniors, grandparents of the program are paid a small stipend of $2.65 an hour and are reimbursed for mileage.

That is a small price to pay, said Yetman, for the results produced by the program and the ability to meet a unique community need.

“Some kids have had a life that is hard, being on the streets and being incarcerated,” Yetman said.

“When I came here, we saw each other, Justin and I, and started talking.” — Grandma Julie

Grandma Julie, shorter than some of the teens she loves so dearly, smiles wide when talking about Justin.

While eating lunch in the senior center in Brawley, she was approached to join the grandparent program. Without hesitation, Grandma Julie believes she has found her calling.

“In my heart I just felt like I wanted to help the younger kids,” she said.

Justin, 14, took to Grandma Julie in November, when she introduced herself to the teen known at Del Rio for marking conversations with an “Oh yeah,” his phrase of approval.

Attendance and attitude problems, said Justin, is why he attends Del Rio. From day one, Justin said he felt like getting into trouble again, but when Grandma Julie came into the picture, his confidence soared.

“I have to give it to the grandparents,” said the eighth-grader. “They kept me out (of juvenile hall).”

Just a little love, care and understanding, Grandma Julie said, can be catalysts for change in a troubled teen.

“Be kind to them,” Grandma Julie said. “You see them turn; you see the changes.”

Justin wants to be a police officer when he grows up and said having a grandparent to rely on as he works toward that goal has made the experience at Del Rio just a little easier.

He is excited at the prospect of going to Brawley Union High next year and added moving on is no easy task.

“It’s kinda hard to get out of here,” Justin said.

“I get a perspective from Grandma Phylus. I know that my actions help or hurt my own grandma.”— Maria

Maria said the best part about the grandparent program is having someone to talk to about the day-to-day things that can be difficult for a teen.

A student at Del Rio for nearly a year, Maria, like Enrique, is cautious about going to high school next semester. The advice the 14-year-old eighth-grader has received from Grandma Phylus has helped her steer away from getting into trouble and cemented her desire to go into law enforcement.

“I can talk to her and she knows what I’m going through,” Maria said. “I can trust her.”

When asked what advice she would tell teens on the same path she chose, she answered, “They don’t know what they’re getting themselves into.”

Grandma Phylus, a mother of seven, relates to Maria because she has a granddaughter the same age.

“When I first met Maria and she confided in me, I thought: ‘This could be my granddaughter.’”

Phylus also was approached to join the program when eating lunch at the senior center. She joined the program to “pay back society for my good life.”

The program can be challenging when teens hesitate to open up, but Grandma Phylus is adamant her words are not lost on the ears of the young.

“If I can help turn one child off of drugs and onto getting an education, that would be my goal,” Grandma Phylus said.

She thinks the foster grandparent program has helped her as much as it has helped Maria and Enrique.

“I’ve learned to be a better person, to be more compassionate and understanding,” Grandma Phylus said. “These are now my kids.”

Maria, Enrique and Justin will soon be faced with a new set of decisions when going to BUHS for the first time. The outcome for the three teens whose trials and tribulations were complicated by misdirected anger and lack of emotional outlets will be determined by their choices.

The three agree, however, that they will take the lessons taught by Grandma Phylus and Grandma Julie with them when they leave Del Rio. Most of all, they will remember their grandmas for their personality, caring and unsurpassed wisdom.

“I will remember her by her kindness,” Enrique said of Grandma Phylus. “She’s kind.”

>> The last names of the youths and the grandparents in this story have been withheld to protect their confidentiality.

>> Staff Writer Brianna Lusk can be reached at 337-3439 or blusk@ivpressonline.com